How to Save a Life
by Cinderfire16
Summary: "How could you do this to Falconpaw!" Desperate times call for desperate measures... Rated T for themes involving rape and suicide. Final Chapter: The Vigil
1. The Crime

**Hello fellow readers! This is the result of a very strange dream. I hope you like it!**

"Hey, Falconpaw, can we talk?" The bracken-colored tom froze but shook himself out and kept walking toward the fresh-kill pile. His mentor, Paleface, was in the nursery with his mate and newborn kits and it was the perfect opportunity to finally eat because Paleface worked him to the bone and he hadn't had a morsel all day. It was around sunset now.

"What, Swiftpaw?" He sighed. Swiftpaw wasn't horrible to him, not like the other cats in his Clan. They all seemed to know something he didn't and they hated him for it. The leader turned a blind eye to it all but Forreststar didn't notice him much so that was to be expected. Apparently the black and white green-eyed apprentice before him didn't know what everyone else did, or she didn't care, which would be amazing if it weren't too good to be true.

"Come on, silly furball. Grab some fresh-kill and let's go!" She chirped. He smiled inside. She seemed pretty eager to be alone with him, though he couldn't fathom why. The others thought nothing of him. He was nothing to them.

"Okay." He muttered, grabbing a squirrel off the pile. Swiftpaw took a large mouse and they padded toward the entrance.

"Where are you going with that thing, Swiftpaw?" Adderclaw was a new warrior warrior who had finished his vigil just that morning. The red-brown tom took great joy in taunting Falconpaw for whatever reason he could find. The suck-up always padded after Paleface and the other senior warriors. Swiftpaw rolled her eyes and walked out of camp. Falconpaw was glad, if only to get away from the countless cats who had hated him for no reason. The two apprentices raced into the forest, fur whipping in the wind as they ran ran ran... Swiftpaw stopped and Falconpaw crashed into her, sending them head-over -tail into the clearing.

"We're here." Swiftpaw informed him. He got to his paws, muttering apologies as she did the same. She brushed her tail against his mouth, silencing him.

"It's okay." She said. The two apprentices sat down to eat.

"I found this place not too long ago, and I knew I had to show you."

"Why?" Falconpaw wondered as he buried the bones of the squirrel.

"Because... I like you, Falconpaw. I don't see why everyone else treats you so badly because you're the best cat any Clan could ask for!" We'll, that was new...

"Thanks?" He didn't really know what to say to that. Someone... Appreciated him? Saw a need off his existence? The idea was all he ever wanted, but it seemed too good to be true!

"There are nice cats in StarClan, right? Cats like you?" He blurted out. "I would think so." Swiftpaw was confused. Why was he talking about StarClan?

"I'll go there then."

"Falconpaw, StarClan isn't meant for cats to visit. It's where cats go when they die."

"It's not like there's anyone here who likes me except for you, but you'll be okay. Plenty of cats like you."

"Falconpaw, no! What are you saying?! Why do you want to go to StarClan so badly? Surely life can't be so bad that you want to die?!" Swiftpaw wailed.

"I don't think I do, but it's the only way the Clan will listen. Paleface said that actions speak louder than words. If they hate me so much then I'll leave. The only place with nice cats is StarClan, so that's where I'll go."

"Falconpaw, there are nice cats in other Clans! Even outside the Clans! We can go there! We don't have to go to StarClan!"

"I don't like ThunderClan, Swiftpaw. What makes you think anyone else will treat me any better? You're the only cat who likes me. I don't want you to come with me. You have the rest of the Clan to lean on. I don't, have that. StarClan can give me that!"

"There has to be another way! Falconpaw, I can't lose you!"

"You'll be okay. You can join me after you've lived."

Swiftpaw sighed and nodded. She wasn't going to get him to believe her. He was too far gone... and he was probably right.

"I'll make sure all the Clans remember you, Falconpaw. No cat will ever forget you."

"I don't want to be remembered, Swiftpaw. I want to be free. I want you to be free too, but you have to wait a bit. Cats still like you. You have to make sure that you're ready."

"Okay, Falconpaw. I'll make sure." She leaned forward to nuzzle him and he licked her forehead.

"Swiftpaw?" The black-and-white she-cat turned back to her friend.

"I love you too." She crashed into him with a purr. "I still have to go."

"I'll see you in StarClan then, and no one will forget this, forget us."

Swiftpaw awoke to find that Falconpaw had kept his word. He was well and truly gone.


	2. Suspects and Reactions

What happened?" Cats asked her when she returned to camp. She was too upset to bother with most of her Clanmates. She stormed into Forreststar's den, ignoring the rest.

"Falconpaw is dead because of you." She murmured. His mate, Snowclaw, spat in shock.

"How dare you accuse your leader of a crime he didn't commit?! The outraged queen hissed. "That wretched menace deserved to die anyway! What has he brought to our Clan but misery and pain?" She sneered.

"It's your fault too. Every cat who treated him like that, who told him that he was nothing, you're all at fault for this!" She snarled.

"What happened, Swiftpaw? I assume you spoke with him. What did Falconpaw say?"

"He said that he had to go to StarClan because that was the only place with nice cats, with cats who wouldn't treat him like he was the dirt beneath their paws, who would treat him like he meant something!" She screeched. "What kind of cats are we, what kind of Clan is this that nobody cares?! None of you asked where Falconpaw was, and I bet you won't even look for him! You're all so cruel that I bet ShadowClan is better than you! I hate you! I hate you all! How could you do this to him?! How could you just stare at your paws when an apprentice is dead? Falconpaw is dead because you fox-hearts treated him like mouse-dung! What reason could any of you possibly have?"

Snowclaw stepped forward.

"He was my kit. I had every right to do with him as I pleased! He reminded me of that terrible rogue who dared to violate a she-cat's most sacred privacy! I didn't want him to be alive much less to have to raise him! That miserable excuse for a scrap of fur was dead to me from the moment he was born! I prayed to StarClan that he word join them but he didn't! I'm glad he's dead!"

Swiftpaw snarled and launched herself off the Highrock. She bit and clawed at Snowclaw until Forreststar yanked her away and some cat pinned her down.

"You..." The brown leader was devastated. "He was a kit, Snowclaw! It shouldn't have mattered how he came into the world! He was your kit! I would have cared for him as my own had I known... oh StarClan how mouse-brained am I?! And what excuse do the rest of you have?!" Forrest star snapped to the rest of the Clan. "What

Would possibly be so wrong with Falconpaw that you were so cruel?!"

No cat spoke. Of course not. They were all too afraid.

"Tonight, I will go to the Moonpool and consult with StarClan. This will be resolved and this will never happen again! When we go to the Gathering tomorrow, I will report Falconpaw's death and Swiftpaw and Snowclaw will say everything that was said today. You will all come to this Gathering and witness to shame we have placed on ThunderClan."


	3. We Meet At StarClan's Gathering

That night, he trekked to the Moonpool alone, despite the protests of his Clanmates. No cat was to be hurt on the sacred journey, and if he was then all the better for it. He truly was a despicable cat, a miserable excuse for a leader.

"Who goes there?!" The approaching cat reeked of WindClan.

"It's Forreststar, and I'm headed for the Moonpool."

The cat stepped into his line of sight and he was surprised to see the Breezestar before him.

"Is everything alright with ThunderClan? No trouble, I hope?"

"I made a terrible mistake, Breezestar, and now one of my young cats has paid the price with their lives. You'll hear about it tomorrow, but I must ask StarClan's forgiveness."

"Good luck, Forreststar. I hope you find what you seek. "

* * *

He awoke in a clearing lined with trees. The moon shone bright and the undergrowth looked healthy and beautiful. It was forever greenleaf in StarClan.

"Forreststar?" The very cat he was looking for stared at him. Surprise clouded the young tom's gaze and now that the leader looked, he realized that his son's pelt looked far better now. Remnants of depression showed in his serious gaze, which only made Forreststar more angry. No cat should have been so desperate...

"I know I'm not Swiftpaw, but I was hoping we could talk." The leader mewed. His voice was far calmer than he felt.

"I saw what happened when she got back... I'm sorry you were so upset."

"No, Falconpaw. You are not at fault. None of this is your fault. Snowclaw was wrong to let others abuse you, and I was wrong for not noticing until it was too late."

"What do you mean? No one could tell me why they were all apologizing!"

"I'm sorry, Falconpaw. Snowclaw abandoned you and I let her. There was no reason for you to have suffered so much. You did absolutely nothing wrong."

"But why did Snowclaw hate me?! She said she was my mother! Deerfur never treated Swiftpaw like that! You never said anything mean! Why is everyone sorry?!"

"Snowclaw was attacked by a rogue, Falconpaw, and moons later, she bore his kits. Do you know what I'm trying to say?"

"She doesn't like me because I'm HalfClan? Is that it?"

"No, Falconpaw. It's not that you're HalfClan... she didn't want the rogue's kits, Falconpaw. They reminded her of the rogue and the fact that she was attacked so brutally. Do you understand?"

The young tom's eyes darkened with a wisdom far beyond his eight moons.

"She thinks of the rogue whenever she sees me... does that mean she thinks I'll act like him?" Falconpaw was rightly disgusted.

"Why? The only she-cat who even looked at me was Swiftpaw, and I never thought of having kits anyway!" An idea flashed through his head and his eyes brightened.

"If you tell the others that they were wrong, do you think they'll like me? I want Swiftpaw and Snowclaw to be happy, Forreststar! You have to tell them!"

The brown leader did his best to hide his surprise.

"Of course." He assured the younger tom as he buried his face in his son's fur. "Of course I'll tell them... I don't know why we were so blind. You truly are the best of us all."

"Tell Swiftpaw I love her, and that she has to live. We'll have the rest of forever to be together, I promise."

"I'll tell her, Falconpaw. I promise."

* * *

"Cats of all Clans, ThunderClan has made a grave mistake. One that has almost cost us two lives." Forreststar began solemnly. He'd allowed the other three leaders to go before him and each report of bountiful prey and new kits made him miss Falconpaw all the more.

"One of our apprentices, Falconpaw, was reported dead by Swiftpaw. She spoke with him before he left, and I spoke with him by the grace of StarClan. Falconpaw was depressed, and for good reason. It was revealed by Snowclaw that Falconpaw was one of her kits. We were led to believe that he was a rogue, and you know how we Clan cats feel about outsiders, but we took it too far, and for that reason, Falconpaw walks among StarClan as he more than deserves" Forreststar broke off for a bit.

"I…" He choked on his words. "I saw him in StarClan, and he wanted… he wanted to be normal. He said Snowclaw and Swiftpaw and everyone else should be happy, and that no, Snowclaw, he would not turn out like that rogue, no matter what you say. He truly was the best of us. I tell you this now because only one cat in my Clan knows all of this, and that is Swiftpaw. She is literally the only cat in ThunderClan who has not made the mistake we all did. She is the only one who cared for him, and that's wrong. For all our pride as ThunderClan cats, as Clan cats, we have let down StarClan in the biggest way there is. Thank you for being so patient and hearing Falconpaw's story."

The clearing was quiet by the time Forreststar was done, and Swiftpaw made her way to the base of the tree as the brown leader hopped to the ground.

"Thank you," She muttered, eyes bright with pain. "Hopefully they'll remember us now."

"I wish I had done more for him… I plan on sitting vigil for Falconpaw. Not in our camp, but on the Island, where I can mourn undisturbed by those who hated him. You are welcome to join me, if you wish."

"Of course," The black and white she-cat mewed happily. "Let me know when you leave."

* * *

"Swiftpaw's gone!" Deerfur shrieked as she pelted out of the warriors den and nearly tackled Forreststar the next morning. The older leader sighed, their secret weighing on his shoulders more than ever. In a few moments, he would have to tell the Clan what Deerfur already knew…

"She is."


	4. How to Say Goodbye

The vigil was held more for Swiftpaw than for Falconpaw, though some cats still said a few words to remember the brown tom by. Most didn't really care for him. Adderclaw, in particular, was angry. How dare that good-for-nothing rogue take away his future mate? He was going to ask Swiftpaw when she became a warrior. He could be patient. But now, that wretched apprentice had ruined everything! What did she even see in him anyway? What did Falconpaw have that Adderclaw didn't?! The brown-striped tom thought back to when Swiftpaw stood on the Highledge and glared at them, the fury in her eyes smoldering through him. He didn't like the idea of her being so upset, and he hadn't known why Falconpaw had anything to do with it.

Then he thought of Snowclaw, the leader's mate, who confessed to her mate and the entire Clan of something that happened seasons ago. If she was right, and Falconpaw was eight moons… If Falconpaw was Snowclaw's lost kit, then why would she let the others treat him the way they did? Granted he hadn't been the nicest of denmates, but Falconpaw was still a cat! As much as he teased and Paleface pushed the younger tom, it was Snowclaw whose actions were the worst! Kinktail would never let anyone treat him like that! Being the only kit of his entire litter to survive made him a miracle in her eyes, and she would claw anyone who said different! _So why was Snowclaw so cruel when Kinktail was the exact opposite?!_

He thought back to what Foreststar said about Snowclaw being attacked… but would that be enough to make her turn her back on the only kit she could ever possibly have?!

"Great StarClan, what have we done?" He whimpered, searching the skies. It was well-known that the brightest stars were those of cats who had recently passed, and he knew exactly where Swiftpaw and Falconpaw were, side by side and the brightest in the sky.

"I'm sorry!" He wailed to the stars.

Cats stirred from their silence to see who had yowled, and were shocked to find Adderclaw digging his claws into the ground, a pained look on his face.

"It's okay, Adderclaw. I'm sure Falconpaw understands-." He cut his mother off.

"It's not okay! It's not okay at all! Mother, you would never let anyone treat me the way I treated Falconpaw! And even though you know it's just because of Swiftpaw, you've told me to stop before. But no one else was told that, and no one else stood up for him! If Foreststar is right, then Swiftpaw was the only cat to ever show that she cared! Even if my siblings died, I had you and cats like me. We took Snowclaw's hate and gave it to him ten pawfuls worse! He's _dead_ because of us, Kinktail! He's dead because of me!"

"I'm sure he knows you regret it." Foreststar, of all cats, spoke then. The brown warrior turned to his leader, despair in his eyes. "And that, more than anything, is probably what he wanted. You can sleep knowing you have been forgiven, Adderclaw, and rest well, because you are not the worst of his tormentors."

"That would be Snowclaw." Kinktail growled. "Now that I think about it, how dare you neglect your own kit?! I didn't particularly care for him, but I didn't actively hate him either! You are his mother! Your job is to take care of him! To feed him when he is hungry and cannot hunt for himself, to make sure that he is healthy and safe and to take him to the medicine cat when he isn't! You were supposed to love him, Snowclaw! What happened was not so horrible that you couldn't love your own kin!"

"I was violated, you kittypet slop! Do you have any idea what it was like?! I had to live knowing that my kits were the spawn of a monster! A cat who might as well have torn me up from the inside out! I was supposed to be mates with Foreststar, but that brute got to me first! And now… now I can never have kits! And the wretched thing you dare to call mine looks exactly like that murderer and you expect me to love it?! I THINK _NOT_!" Snowclaw screeched, heaving with effort.

"He was your kit… no matter what was done to you, kits are given to us by the grace of StarClan! Who are you to soil that with your anger?" Kinktail's voice wavered, disbelief sharpening her tone. "How could you? Your own son, he was all you had! How could you?"

"I have Forestatar! Don't tell me what to do! That thing was going to be a brute, just like its father!"

"If that were true, then it would only come to pass because of what we did to him." Mintheart, the medicine cat, meowed softly. "Falconpaw was a good cat, according to Foreststar. There was no hint of the brutality you saw in his sire, but there would have been if we kept up the way we did."

"And I don't think Foreststar wants anything to do with you." Adderclaw sneered.

"I might not have been the best of cats, but my problem was that he was around Swiftpaw all the time. I wanted her to be my mate. You wanted Falconpaw gone entirely. There's a difference between what your were willing to do and what I was. You said it yourself, you wanted him dead." The tabby growled. "I may not have liked the poor furball, but you've got to admire his strength. To have lasted as long as he did with you as a mother?" Adderclaw shook his head, trailing off.

He then turned to Paleface.

"And you worked him like no other apprentice has been trained before. You probably said things the rest of us never heard, because you're his mentor. You're supposed to teach him to be a warrior, like Lakeclaw taught me. I was heading for my nest when he and Swiftpaw left, and they had fresh-kill in their mouths. I could hear his stomach growling from where I stood, and he looked exhausted! I bet he was overjoyed when your mate moved to the nursery! I know I would be! That would mean less time spent yowling his ears off." Adderclaw paused to take a breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them, his glare was cold and all for Falconpaw's would-be mentor.

"I looked up to you, Paleface. I thought you were the best cat ever, and Falconpaw was lucky to have you. I told him that… dear StarClan, I told him that he deserved you, even if you went tough on him… how cruel were you?"

"What?! You have no right-!"

"It wasn't just Snowclaw who despised him. You had to have some part in it. Why else would he go to the fresh-kill pile in the middle of the night, long after everyone was in their nests? Why else would he be dead the next morning? So I ask again, how cruel were you?"

"He was a rogue!" Paleface roared. I thought Foreststar had given me that pitiful excuse for a scrap of fur because he thought I couldn't handle anything else, because he thought I was worthless! He sure showed it whenever he could!"

"What? Why would I do that?!" The brown leader exclaimed.

"You held back my warrior ceremony! I was supposed to become a warrior the same day Lakeheart did, and you said I wasn't ready! Three moons I remained an apprentice! Three whole moons of taking orders from older warriors and knowing that I should have been up there with my brother! So yes, I was mad at Foreststar's precious rogue."

"You weren't ready." Foreststar growled. "And clearly you have not changed. Paleface, I hereby strip you of your warrior name and regulate you back to the rank of Apprentice. You will do all that is required of you as an apprentice until I say otherwise or you prove to have learned your lesson. Since there are no other apprentices, you shall have to take on the duties a normal apprentice will. If you truly cannot handle the strain, then I will have others split the work."  
"What-?!"

"Let's see how long you last under the same conditions you put Falconpaw." Foreststar sneered.

"Why you-!"

"Go to the Apprentice's Den!" The leader roared. "Sleep knowing that you have failed what will likely be your only apprentice, because I know now that I should not have trusted you with the well-being of my son. You're lucky I haven't tried to kill you!"

"Foreststar-."

"GO!"

Palepaw slunk towards the apprentice den, muttering under his breath. The brown leader turned his cool gaze on Adderclaw, who ducked his head.

"You have shown remarkable growth, for one so young, but know that you do not shoulder this burden alone, and you, of all, have been redeemed. Live well, young tom. Live the life Falconpaw and Swiftpaw both wanted for you. You more than deserve it."  
"Th- thank you, Foreststar."

The brown tabby leader nodded to his youngest warrior and turned back to the Clan at large.

"Does anyone have anything good to say about Falconpaw or Swiftpaw? They should not be remembered for how we treated them, but what they brought to our Clan." The cats of ThunderClan were silent as they thought of the solemn apprentice and his happy-go-lucky companion.

"Please...?" Foreststar whimpered. "Tell me that I have not failed my son, that my entire Clan was so blinded by Snowclaw's misplaced hatred that you all think he's contributed nothing?!"

"He was a hard worker." Mintheart offered. "Even when he was as tired as Adderclaw mentioned, he always made sure the queens and elders were fed, would even stop by my den to check on me. He was always the last to eat, and the first out to hunt. He would have been a wonderful leader if he focused a bit more on keeping himself alive. The grey tom meowed. "I'm pretty sure he takes after you, in that respect." He told Foreststar.

"Falconpaw always made time for two things: Swiftpaw and the elders." Kinktail chuckled.

"He loved a good story." Longclaw, the Clan's oldest tom, meowed wistfully. "I had to have told him my tales a thousand times, and he always came back. Could ask for them by name, I bet."

"He was quite the fighter, I noticed." Lakeheart offered. "Before his ceremony, you had us assess his skillset. He knew mostly defensive moves, and that says a lot about the kind of cat he is. As down as he was, he never hurt anyone. Not even those who probably deserved it." The blue-grey tom glared toward the apprentice den, where his brother now resided.

"Swiftpaw adored him." Deerfur murmured. "Would ask about him every day, would make sure I knew his name."

"She insisted we eat with him, though StarClan knew why, then. I can see now, why he would be lonely." Jaygaze, a blue-eyed senior warrior meowed.

"They were wonderful cats, and I'm glad they found each other. Even if... even if I didn't want them to at first." Adderclaw admitted.

* * *

Swiftpaw raced through the fields, stirring up all the prey in the area and ruining any cat's chance for hunting. Not that they would care. This was Starclan, there was plenty of prey. She certainly didn't pay them any mind. She was far too focused on reaching her friend.

"Falconpaw!" She yowled as she ran. "Falconpaw, they remember us!" She bowled the brown tom over in much the same fashion he had her on his last night. He went down with an "Oomph!" And she placed her paws on his chest, nudging him playfully. "Didn't you hear me, Falconpaw? They know the truth! They hate Snowclaw now! And Foreststar demoted Paleface- sorry, Palepaw. Sent him back to the apprentice's den like the coward he was!"

"I would be lying if I were to say that didn't feel good." Falconpaw admitted with a smirk. "I still don't like you being here."

_They had discussed this plenty of times once he reached her. At first sight, disbelief clouded his gaze and he snarled at her._

_"You mouse-brained fool! How could you? Why would you leave the entire Clan behind?! And what about Adderclaw? You probably shattered his heart, you miserable excuse for a she-cat!" He'd roared._

_She avoided him for a while after that, and he found her at sunset, came crawling for forgiveness. It had taken more than a few tries to get a word from her, much less to get her to actually forgive him. But he'd managed it, and all was right with the world. Except for the part where they were dead._

"Well I'm here, and there's nothing you can do about it." Swiftpaw scoffed, sticking her tongue out. He licked her nose on instinct and they burst into giggles after a moment of shock. "Honestly, Falconpaw, I made my choice, and there's nothing I would trade it for. Deerfur still has Lakeheart. They'll have plenty of kits come newleaf. Adderclaw... he'll move on. It would have been cruel to stay when he was too enamored to see the truth. He can moved on... I wasn't able to, and I don't regret that. Now it just means that you're mine forever." The black and white she-cat smirked, licking the brown tom's ear.

"Anyway, I've been calling you from The Island. Didn't you hear me?"

"I have no clue what you want."

"They remember us, Falconpaw. We made an impact. Cats like you! It rots like fox-dung that we had to die, but it worked! Nobody likes Snowclaw or Palepaw, and everyone can see you as I did, at least, see how good a cat you are. No one else should bother seeing past that."

"I doubt anyone would want to." Falconpaw snorted.

"We really need to work on that."

"No, we really don't." He thought about Claws, the grey and black tom who originally found him and tried to teach him the 'art' of using she-cats to get what you want. He had to have somewhere close to a million kits by now. Falconpaw knew from the moment he met Claws that he would only have one mate. That was his resolve.

"You're the only she-cat who likes me, and it just so happens that I like you back. No problem, right?"

What if Swiftpaw didn't like him What if she just followed him because she felt bad and hated the Clan? That was perfectly reasonable. She could be with Adderclaw. They could've gone on with their lives. He would've been okay-.

Swiftpaw swat him aside the head with a sheathed paw.

"You're thinking too hard." She told him.

"I saw what you could have." He insisted.

"I have you, Falconpaw, and you have me. And we have the rest of StarClan. Please let that be enough."

Falconpaw nodded, suddenly ashamed. Swiftpaw was here, with him, and even if she wanted to, she wouldn't go back. She would stay with him, and the selfish part of him rejoiced in that fact.

"Okay." He said at last. "We should hunt or something. Unless you had an idea."

"We should visit Foreststar and Deerfur and the others later on. Tell them that we heard." Swiftpaw offered. "But for now? Yeah, hunting sounds great."

* * *

Those who had spoken at the vigil and those who silently agreed were at peace when they all retired to their nests, weary and drawn from either watching or taking part in the multiple arguments that occurred. The eternal apprentices went to every cat, circling them playfully and wishing good dreams on them all.

Falconpaw did for Snowclaw and Palepaw what Swiftpaw refused. He touched his nose to the white queen's forehead as she slept in the Warrior's Den for the first time since The Incident.

Palepaw swiped at an appirition of his former apprentice with malice in his eyes, and when he woke up, he limped to the medicine den. Apparently he had clawed himself in his sleep.

Mintheart chuckled and glanced at the brown tom by his side. Falconpaw winked and vanished. If Palepaw couldn't see past his own greed, then there was no point in trying to change him.

Life went on.


End file.
